On Yom Kippur we take the initiative to evaluate our lives and decide what we can, and will, fix.
Many years ago, there was a famous letter written in response to The Times of London question, “What is wrong with the world today?” Readers submitted essays about the world’s ills, but the best letter of all was also the shortest. It read:
“Dear Sir,
I am.
Yours faithfully, G. K. Chesterton.”
It’s a lot easier to point fingers at others than oneself. “Everyone else needs to change, not me”
What’s wrong with our world? The UN
What’s wrong with my marriage? My spouse of course.
What’s wrong with my job? My boss.
Why are my kids behaving this way? Because they have behavioral issues and they need to change.
While this may all be true, the consequence of this mindset is that we sit and wait for the world and the people around us to change, but they rarely do and neither does our situation.
If you want change in your life, whether in your marriage, at work, with your kids or in any other area of life, then you’ve got to be the one to change because you can’t change anyone else. The only thing you can change is yourself. YOU need to change what YOU are doing, or HOW you are doing it, if you want to see different results.
The next time you have a negative experience whether with your spouse, kids, mechanic or boss, even if they are at fault, rather than pointing fingers and blaming, ask yourself “what can I do differently or better next time to change the outcome” This is the only way you and your situation will ever change and improve.
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Benjy Silverman