Many years ago, there was a famous letter written in response to The Times of London question, “What is wrong with the world today?” Readers submitted essays about the world’s ills, but the best letter of all was also the shortest. It read:
“Dear Sir,
I am.
Yours faithfully, G. K. Chesterton.”
Of course, there are much larger problems out there, but the only thing in MY control is what I do about it.
It’s a lot easier to point fingers at others than oneself. “Everyone else needs to change, not me”
What’s wrong with our world? ISIS
What’s wrong with my marriage? My spouse of course.
What’s wrong with my financial situation? The economy.
Why are my kids behaving this way? Because they have behavioral issues and they need to change.
While this may all be true, the consequence of this mindset is that we sit and wait for the world and the people around us to change, but they rarely do and neither does our situation.
If you want change in your marriage, at your job, with your kids or in any other area of life, then you’ve got to be the one to change because you can’t change your spouse or the economy. The only thing you can change is yourself. YOU need to change what YOU are doing or how you are doing it if you want to see different results.
The only question that matters in every area of life is “what can I do differently?”
The next time you have a negative experience whether with your spouse, kids, mechanic, boss or whoever, even if they are at fault, rather than pointing fingers and blaming, ask yourself “what can I do differently or better next time to change the outcome” This is the only way you and your situation will ever change and improve.
Perhaps this is what Gandhi meant when he said 'Be the change that you wish to see in the world.'
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Benjy Silverman
