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Midlife Crisis

Friday, 2 February, 2018 - 2:10 pm

A 19th century German philosopher, Arthur Schopenhauer, wrote that "life swings like a pendulum between boredom and pain" What he meant was that if we have achieved our goals in life, then we are in a state of boredom. If we have not achieved our goals, then we are in a state of pain (or frustration).

This pretty much sums up what many face during a midlife crisis.  Those who have gotten where they want to be in life are asking themselves: now what? Those who haven’t gotten there, don’t see themselves ever getting there.

This happens because our goals are binary.  Either we've succeeded and are bored, or we have not, and are in pain. 

This is the challenge of fixed goals. Getting married, moving to the suburbs, raising a family and achieving a certain level of professional success are all examples of fixed goals.  Either you succeed or you don't. 

Judaism, on the other hand, introduces us to limitless goals. Limitless goals focus on the process more than the result, on the how more than the what.   How you make your money, is more important than how much money you make. 

Judaism values the effort, integrity, and kindness one puts into to each moment and each encounter, regardless of results. 

In this mindset, every day can be a success but you never "get there", you are never actually done.

In this week’s portion, we read about the giving of the Torah.  Imagine how anti-climactic this must have been. After waiting and suffering for 210 years as slaves in Egypt, they reached the apex of spiritual life and experienced G-d at Mt Sinai. Now what? What else can they possibly accomplish?  Yet, shortly after receiving the Torah, G-d says "enough sitting around the mountain, travel forward" Each day presents us with new mountains to climb and new opportunities to better ourselves and the world.

The Torah portion challenges us to re-examine our goals. Are all our goals binary, or do we also have limitless goals? Valuing process over results lowers our risk of suffering a midlife crisis.

Shabbat Shalom 

Rabbi Benjy Silverman

PS. Join us for First Friday services tonight at 6:30 pm 

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